Friday, May 31, 2013

Job Opening: FERC Commissioner

Do you have what it takes to wreck the environment, public health, and America's rural heritage?

Jon Wellinghoff, Federal Energy Regulatory Commission Chairman, has resigned and the Obama White House already has a job posting up on Craigslist! I wish Chairman Wellinghoff the best and hope he doesn't trip on his tail on the way out.
Job Title: Commissioner - Federal Energy Regulatory Commission

Job Description:

Are you a motivated go-getter who hates to let facts stand in the way of dirty energy? Will you permit any natural gas pipeline, compressor station, or related facility that crosses your desk? Do you sleep soundly at night, no matter what you've done? Do you have experience in the tobacco, oil, gas, or coal industry? Would you like to bolster gas industry profits by expanding the nation's pipeline system to enable thousands more "fracked" gas wells?

If you answered yes to those questions, we want to hear from you. Following the recent resignation of Jon Wellinghoff, FERC Chairman, the White House is seeking a new commissioner to continue the Obama administration's "all-in" energy policy, illustrated by President Obama in his State of the Union address.

The ideal candidate would be able to dismiss the long-standing, ironclad laws of chemistry, physics, ecology, biology, and oncology, through magic or otherwise. Must be able to permit the dredging of creeks, streams, and rivers for pipelines, compressor stations that emit hazardous air pollutants, the clearcutting of pristine forestlands, eminent domain condemnation of people's property, and the destruction of sensitive archaeological sites without hesitation, wearing a straight face.

Key Responsibilities:
-Permitting everything.
-Ignoring public comment and dissent.
-Wining and dining with industry lobbyists and representatives.

Preferred Candidate Would Have the Following Attributes:
-Willful or Natural Ignorance of Reality
-Experience in various East European propaganda ministries, the Tobacco Industry, or sales of miracle cures and/or snake oil
-Doesn't hurt if you are rich
-Ability to appear at meetings to vote
-Ability to sleep soundly before and after meetings

-Competitive compensation among regulators
-Politically unaccountable job security
-Performance-based bonuses, including the revolving door between industry and government.
-Full health, dental, and vision.
-Access to future beach front property in Nebraska

Background information:

OBAMA ON DIRTY ENERGY: The Obama administration has been very poor on the environment and all-in for dirty energy. On his watch, catastrophic mountaintop removal coal mining permits have been approved, offshore drilling in the Gulf continues as Obama sets his sights on the indigenous fishing waters of Alaska, and the first nuclear reactor in decades is approved, in the wake of the tragic disaster in Japan. After a concerted opposition effort by his base, President Obama praised the southern leg of the Keystone XL tar sands pipeline which is almost finished with construction.


GLOBAL SHALE GAS INITIATIVE - President Obama initiated the Global Shale Gas Initiative in the State Department "in order to help countries seeking to utilize their unconventional natural gas resources to identify and develop them safely and economically." Through the GSGI, Obama has met with leaders of at least India, Poland, and China to sign bi-lateral agreements to assist fracking, making his administration the largest lobbying firm for shale gas drilling in the world.

SUSQUEHANNA RIVER - President Obama has ordered his Army Corps of Engineers representative on the Susquehanna River Basin Commission to repeatedly authorize water withdrawals from the basin by natural gas drillers, enabling the expansion of drilling in rural Pennsylvania that has caused thousands of environmental violations available on the PA DEP oil and gas compliance website.

DELAWARE RIVER - President Obama has remained silent on the Delaware River Basin
Commission's ongoing effort to authorize fracking in the Delaware River Basin, drinking water for 15.6 million people, from New York City to Philadelphia. The White House is a voting member of the DRBC.

ENDANGERED SPECIES - President Obama's Department of Interior office in State College, PA, under authorization of the Endangered Species Act, regularly permits gas drilling operations and infrastructure without sending government surveyors to identify endangered species habitat at the sites, instead relying on the paid contractors of the gas industry and the outdated, incomplete, Pennsylvania Natural Heritage Program.

PIPELINES - President Obama's Federal Energy Regulatory Commission (FERC) has authorized the construction of every natural gas pipeline, upgrades, and compressor station crossing their desk, which enables further development of gas drilling by moving the produced gas to market.

WATER FOR CONTAMINATED HOMES - President Obama's EPA has consistently dragged their feet to investigate, enforce, and provide water to households with contaminated water. In Dimock, PA, only four families have received water for a short time while PA communities like Lenox, Connoquenessing, West Burlington, and countless more are still waiting.

NATURAL GAS EXPORT - President Obama's Department of Energy has authorized the construction and conversion of natural gas terminals to export Liquefied Natural Gas overseas, undermining his argument for "energy independence."

THE OBAMA LEGACY - None of this is a result of Republican obstruction. Everything in this list is
President Obama's discretion alone. Obama has consistently ignored rural residents who are losing their clean air, clean water, pristine land, and traditional rural economies based on tourism, recreation, and agriculture to the heavy industrialization of our wilds. What will be his legacy?

Location: Washington DC
Compensation: Competitive
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

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